Many children, perhaps most, experience anxiety at various levels regarding school studying. Parents in turn experience anxiety about the situation their child is in and try in every way to help. Many times, parents can find the right ways to manage it but also, many times they can find the wrong ways because they are looking for a “solution” quickly. Below are some helpful tips for parents to manage.
- Avoid showing your stress in front of your child because you will cause him/her to experience more stress. Try to be calm. If you are calm this will feel the child with you.
- Use the breathing technique to help you discharge (inhale and exhale).
- Add relaxation and exercise time to your schedule (exercise, walking, music, meeting friends, etc.).
- Add relaxation and exercise time to the child’s schedule.
- You do not need to force the child to read or remind him/her every time you see him/her sitting (and not reading). Your child knows his/her own rhythms and if he/she feels pressure from you he/she can do the exact opposite, reading little or nothing.
- You do not need to take care of the child more than necessary. Stand discreetly close to him/her and assure him/her that when he/she wants something he/she can ask for it himself/herself.
- The child needs you to be there and listen to him/her, to share with you his/her worries and fears.
- Avoid having high expectations of your child.
- Avoid excessive encouragement, without arguments and specific reasons and goals, such as constantly saying: “You are the best student! The child who experiences stress in this way feels further insecure, as well as additionally stressed because he/she believes that his/her parents have excessive demands for no particular reason.
- Avoid negative criticism and threats. Repeated criticism and threats not only do not achieve positive results but instead cause more stress and insecurity in the child, as well as a refusal to try to study.
- We avoid telling the child exactly what to do. In this way the child experiences stress and does not feel independent. It is better to suggest to the child to come up with a realistic plan (which can be achieved) for his/her study by setting small and achievable goals. Successful completion of the program enhances the sense of control and accomplishment, and this will reduce stress.
In case you have difficulty in management and need more individual suggestions you can get the opinion of a mental health expert.
Militsa Demetriou
Registered School / Educational Psychologist (Registration Number 423)